Writing in my brain: Beautiful flowing sentences full of powerful phrases and enigmatically witty dialogue.
Writing on the page: They did the thing and said some stuff. There was snark.
I apologise for the language, but here is some motivation! ~DP
To all my fellow writers out there: do you ever feel like you really are a variety of universes and characters and stories all rolled up into the mind of one person and you pace back and forth because it’s the only way to release some of the tension that kind of compression creates and sometimes you feel as though you just want to explode because there’s so, so much inside you?
Firstly, I’ve felt really down the past days and the fact that you took time from your day to ask me this means so much to me. So thank you <3
Anyway. A lot of “small” things became too much, I guess. I LOVE history, especially ancient times, but the university I’m in focused a lot on stuff I don’t find at all as thrilling, and it really ruined it for me this spring. I started reconsider if it was the right thing for me to do, and I don’t know if it is. It won’t give me a job and I don’t think I’d be into this kind of research (meaning it just added more uncertainty to my future, and I already have enough of that with wanting to be a writer). Basically, I lost all motivation to study, as well as for everything else I love to do, which made me even more depressed. I have a lot of pressure on myself to get things done, and when I don’t, it’s a downward spiral from there.
So a week in on this semester I felt it wouldn’t work with full time studies right now (therefor part-time French). Technically, it’s just a “paus” though, so I can take up history again if I’d want to one day. As for now, I’m trying to focus on feeling happy and think things through. :)
Just going to leave this post here as the very first one written in my dorm room, the 18th of September 2013. It feels so damn good to finally have somewhere to stay for a long time - like wow, I might actually live here for three years. Life is good.
Oh right I forgot I was supposed to celebrate a year last week eh. So not gonna live here two more tho holy shit someone save me from this place. Funny how much changes in a year. I was so certain I’d earn a bachelor’s degree in history… and now I’ve dropped out and study part-time French instead just to be able to stay here until I find something else. Yeah. I did not see this coming.
crashingfox replied to your photo “Words in my dreams never make sense. They’re probably just something I…”
MY FRIEND MY FRIEND DU VET REDAN VAD JAG TYCKER.
MMHMM YOU’RE FALLING I’VE SEEN IT IN YOUR EYES 8)
Words in my dreams never make sense. They’re probably just something I heard in passing. On the subway, or on TV, or some shit. I don’t know.
But when you finally spoke, you said, really softly, “our kids are happy.”
I don’t know what the fuck that means, because I’m never having kids. I’d be too afraid that they would end up exactly like me… Afraid. I don’t want to fuck them up. I’d be a terrible father. I’m just not doing it.
And I’m never having kids with you.
But that’s what you said. Our kids are happy.
I thought it’d be sometime next year, but apparently it’s not until Feb/March 2016. Which is a really long wait. But yeah, Delaney should know, and it’s according to him so I suppose it’s right!
Slowly replacing the negative thoughts with colors and beautiful things.